Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Breath, Breathing, Bright

Standing where the stones pull you down.
Struggling and thick with mud the steps are.
And if every movement were to take you and slide you into the deep,
where the muck breathes slowly and grips tight until there is nothing of your energy left
to try and get back up again.

Grey all over,
like I imagine London to be, or the fens of Scotland or anywhere on Earth,
when the clouds are thick and uniform and grey and wet.
I wonder.
Slowly and stiffly,
I haven't wondered in a while.
Wandered, either.
Thought tomorrow. People, existence, life.
But tonight is long. Questionable.
Breathing.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Permutations of Self

Echoing, forever.
Like a clear and soft bell,
vibrations only leading the next on,
until infinity has reached.
Until infinity is passed.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Transparent Creations

"It seems simple, if tainted."
I wondered what she meant,
touching the perfect sheen.
The expression it left upon my fingers was jaded.
Half there and half not.
Half amazed and uncertain.
It was trembling and unknowing.
If it had eyes, the whites would be showing.

The curvaceous nature of it lent to a nigrescent center.
The clocked edges tick-tocking away.

I wanted to ask what it was,
but the question seemed too simple.
Too easy.
I fixed my glasses and thought with my eyes upon it.

"What do you think?"
She asked the question I wasn't sure I dared to answer.
The taste of it on my skin flickered against my mind.

"It's beautiful." I said.
"Like rainbow zest gone dark.
It's sliding away now, uncertain and aware.
Too aware, and while still shaky, certain that it IS.
It is something. Here.
Hallowed existence without knowing what it is being."

My words sounded silly and inadequate in my mouth.
Like cotton and flies.

"It's beautiful," I repeated.
And it was. It was deiform.
It was a nebulous intrigue before my eyes.
I wanted to soak it into my skin to try and understand.
She understood, I think, my fascination.
There was a smile.

I wondered what else I could've said later,
or perhaps asked.
I could've asked something, I thought.
The bedsheets curled about me, warm and comforting.
It had been cold there, cold and wistful.
I wondered if she wanted a friend.
But she was me, too.
Her creation mine own, if only in dream.
Formation of fog and mist.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Fracturing Spiderwebs.

It only takes a moment.
One of them said. I was unsure which.
My eyes were closed.
I had fingers spread and grasping, like spiders' legs scrambling.

And I remember the first time I'd ever killed one;
pressing, pressing, pressing down.
Into the ground
it went, dirt and grime and its life, its complete knowledge gone.
I was young. I wondered if there was a place for spiders' souls.
God's existence was never a question;
he did not exist. Not as he was worshiped.
Never. Ever. Could he exist as he was explained to me.
Higher power?
Don't pull me down so.

It's all right.
One of them said to me.
Condescending, but I did not mind.
My eyes flickered behind my lids.
It's all right, really.
They said.
I said; Tempted the devil with my song
and got what I wanted.
I whispered; What I wanted.
Louder; All along.

I wondered what would happen.
Where were the spirals?
Conjugated effects of the fake fact of physics.
What, what, what would happen?
I smiled, fell backwards.

Over in a moment, yes?
Plunge of water, cold and colder and coldest when I gasped.
Breathe here.
Breathe again.

Just a moment, here.
I said, to the music; Shine on forever.
I was fire. I was wind like rust and I was here.
Existant.
Laughing and gasping breath.


Heh.
One of them said, amused.
You smell like roses.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Beautiful Monster

Matius turned a cross-step towards the shadows in the dark of the room;
find and find and carry and break that moment of uneasy silence here in the house.
He found the ever-walk of creaking stairs like dinosaur teeth up through his chest;
burning, burning, burning away at his insides.
Crossing that threshold of Dreaming, again.
Monster-houses, hollow-houses where the night never sleeps and has never seen
closed eyes like that before, just an endless blink and shut and open.
A waiting sort of locked-lashes, pupils roving behind and back and forth.

“Where are you going, my dear?”
My dear like dragon’s teeth.
My dear like goat’s hide and sandy gravel,
like dusty dead locusts in swarms.
“Where are you going?”
And Dyrodus spread his paws out on the floor in steps, in stepping,
in the beastly way of blinking dark-shod eyes and torn rugs.
Matius looked upon his face; primate-like, gorilla-esque,
and the matted, black and silver hair there,
and shuttered.

The beast weilded a pen, inky blackness that seeped through the beige sand
where it covered the cat-feet and when he turned his head,
there was the slide of grey-matter, the slippery ooze of decaying flesh there
at the back of his skull.

And Matius shivered there, in the dark of Waking.

“Hollow-house, dream house, how you take to flight.”
The beast’s antlers, scraping against the ceiling paint,
made the flakes fall like dirty snow in edgings across the beaten, matted garb,
plaited as it was like an old rug in strange designs.
His voice hissed like dust and desert things inside his mouth, behind his heavy tongue,
and Matius stood, hands so still as to break in tensions,
and he forgot to breathe a moment.

Dyrodus clicked his finger-bones together, bare of flesh and seeing
He ground his teeth down against each other in the night,
there, in the monster-house.
“Take heed, little beast of being so bright,” he crooned with that voice,
bending his great torso down, ribs pushing against each other and bending out of the way.
“Take heed, little beast of humanity’s delight.”

Matius’ fingers danced on the edges of the wall,
stair creakings and broken cobwebs across his face.
He held his breath, waiting, waiting, waiting
to fight the flight of his trembling legs.

Dyrodus cackled in the midnight hours,
where boys make men of dares and nights do not close and break by sunlight.
Where spiders creep and where centipedes have danced.
Dyrodus arched his back and those wings there,
made of ash and fish-scales and thin sheets of black steel,
fell open, clicking and whirring.
And Matius fell to his knees when the great maw came near, behind bone fingers,
pen outstretched.

“Monster.” The beast said,
and Matius fell away to the ink.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I like spiders.

And sometimes fish.
I like aquatic existence.
And sand-dollars.
And jelly-fish.
At night.
Black ocean drawings
charcoal and coral reefs.

Babbble.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Spirals.

It crunches like old ice,
fizzled and depleted in those trays.
Banished freezer-ward and never retrieved.
I lick the edge of my mouth,
and concentrate on taste,
on the creation of noise,
teeth driving down.

I'm trapping thoughts as we speak.
If you're speaking.
I have little hare-cages and snapping raccoon traps.
I'm snapping them up in my great jaws,
and you'll never see them again.
Disintegrated by my stomach fluid.